As promised, here is the second part of my Resolutions post (if you missed the first one, on body, you can check it out here). Looking at my notes, this one is probably going to be a bit longer, so settle in, grab your heated blanket and a snack. Let’s get into this.
I know we’ve all seen that tumblr post floating around the internet about saying thank you instead of saying sorry. When I first saw it, I’m not going to lie, I didn’t really think about it and went on with my day. Then the more and more I noticed how much I said sorry in a day, it really dawned on me. I notice the more often you say sorry, especially for little things, the less people actually believe it, and I begin to worry if I’m being an annoying always-sorry type of person (which I want to stress, I’m not annoyed by people who say sorry often, but this is just where my mind was spinning to). People appreciate thank you’s a lot more than sorry’s, even though they essentially are the same thing. The only difference, when saying “thank you” you are telling the person exactly how you feel when “sorry” can be misconstrued or appear to be weak. (Again, in your own mind, not necessarily what others think). So I decided to give it a try. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden” became “thank you for being there through all my problems”; “I’m sorry I took up so much of your time” became “thank you for staying with me all this time”; and even little things like “I’m sorry for my annoyingly complicated sandwich” (when I make a bunch of changes to something) became “thank you for understanding my diet and making my complicated sandwich”. Trust me, it feels so much better and really puts me in a good, eye-opening mindset. (Although, sorry is still perfectly applicable to like stepping on someone’s foot).
Breathing: If you’re anything like me, sometimes you’re own thoughts can be your worse nightmare. All these negative thoughts swirling around as a tornado in your brain, ripping apart any good mood you can have, suffocating your very breath, it can all get overwhelming. I know meditation doesn’t always work for some people, but I always recommend to at least try it out. Just taking a few minutes of your day to take care of your mind is so very important. The first “meditation exercise” I ever did was very simple. All I would do, as one of the first things in my morning, is sit down on the ground, spine straight up, and breathe. I would try to imagine myself breathing out all the negativity in my mind and in my life, and breathe in all positive thoughts. I would do this as long as I needed to feel more at peace. Even though it’s an extremely simplistic exercise, it really works wonders and sets me up for a more positive day. I’m really trying to work this in a morning routine everyday. If you need a little more help, I’ve also found this guided breathing meditation to work wonders. (And there are different ones, depending on how much time you have.)
Yoga/stretching: This is another item that I’m really trying to improve on. I remember a time when I used to practice yoga about 3 days/week, and it definitely improved my mood (and all of my aches and pains, and yes I am only 25). And even if there’s not enough time to do a full sequence, I still feel improvements with just some light stretching before meditation.
Coloring: Yes, the new craze to sweep the nation is adult coloring. And as I never see myself as “following trends”, this one I can really get behind. If you have a lot of anxiety or nervous energy, coloring (for some people including me, at least) can calm you down. Having something to focus on other than the mass of thoughts swirling your head is a big thing, so focusing your energy on something as minuscule as staying inside the lines can keep your mind at bay.
This is something I’m trying a bit more to work on as well, as it encompasses a lot of other attributes. Having a daily morning and nightly routine can help bring you into a more positive mindset for the rest of the day as well as get your body and mind used to calming down before bed. Having a daily routine can allow you to bring great wellness practices into your life, such as meditation, exercise, and even skin care. It allows you to make more time for doing things for yourself.
Life is Long
The best advice that I could give anyone is that life is long. We always hear the whole “life is too short” mantra of many people, but that always triggered something in me. I’d get all this anxiety in me that yes, life is short, you are right random person, so now I have to hurry and make all my decisions and hope that I chose the right path because life is too short to fuck up. But in all reality, life is long. After all, it’s the longest thing you’ll ever go through. (ok, yeah kind of a dad joke, but you see my point). This is the way I think about it: I am currently 25 years old. If I think back on the last 25 years and how much I have changed as a person and how long that amount of time has felt, I still have a little over 3 times as much! Or even scale it back to 10 years, or even 5 years. Life goes by a lot slower than everyone in society is trying to pressure you to think. So when you are already half way through working towards a certain degree in college, and you hate what you are doing and think “well damn, I wish I started out at A B or C career path, because now I have to stick with it because I already wasted two years”, well you are wrong. You didn’t waste those two years, you spent those two years realizing that this career path that would set you up for tens of years more is not for you. It’s quite alright to switch career paths at any time of your life, because you have so much more time to live. I hope at least some of this is making sense. A lot of people ask me why I spent 5 years in college, changing my major, to have a little part time job. And while personal reasons played a part into why I moved and thus currently having just a part time job, there’s a much bigger reason as to why I didn’t stick with my “chosen career path”. I love the subject matter I studied, I just didn’t feel like I fit with the jobs that were in the “career path”. So maybe there will at a time be a job for me that I fit better with that aligns with my coursework, but as of now, I have so many other interests that I want to pursue while I’m young and don’t have a family to support. Because life is long, and for the time being, I’m ok with where I am at. Please let me know if any of this is making sense, I know it’s a bit late and I tend to get a bit rambly.
Clear Your Space
This is yet another point that I am trying to work on. I definitely believe that once your space is clear (to your liking, at least), so will be your mind. I’m really bad at cleaning my room because in my adult body is a child that throws a tantrum at the very thought of making my bed. However, I love clearing other peoples spaces and I love interior design. Why I don’t do that for my own space? Beats me, but that’s what I’m trying to work on. Plus, having a clearer space allows more room for activities such as meditation, yoga, and dance parties.
One thing I’m proud to say that I’ve improved on is knowing myself. I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am as a person, my beliefs, morals, and even having more of a sense of self. I feel like once I know who I am as a person, I can find more peace within myself. Now, I’m not about to go into a job interview and tell them I’m vegan, my political and social belief systems, or sexual orientation, because that might make things awkward, but if I were to meet someone on a friend or even dating basis, it’s nice to know who I am to better find someone in my life that fits and accepts me for all of who I am. And the most important factor: knowing that who you are is ever changing. We always get caught up in trying to remain the same person for fear that we might get called out for being a hypocrite, but this is life and as I mentioned before, it is quite long. It is impossible to remain the same person forever. We are constantly consuming new information and new surroundings and growing as a person. Something that stuck with me for a long time that I read somewhere (I think it was when I was looking up Buddhist teachings, but I’m not sure and don’t want to be spitting out incorrect info) was to “accept constant change”. And since reading that, I’ve really been trying to connect with it in my daily life.
Invest in Yourself
This is something I’m really trying to work on as well. It’s important to remember that you are the only person truly in charge of your own life, and you are the only one living it. Therefore, it’s important to invest in yourself, in time and money. Make sure what you spend is truly an investment in yourself, as well as how you spend your time. Now, I’m not using this to say “tighten your investments/budgets” at all, actually on the contrary. Spend your money and time doing what makes you happy, or what will make you happy in the long run. Now, while I was thinking about it I was realizing what a tricky concept this was. You might think buying this beautiful dress will make you happy in the short run, but in the long run you might not have enough for your bills, which will make you upset in the long run. You may want to spend your current time sleeping and playing video games, which would make you currently happy, but going to your job would help you in the long run. What I really mean, at least what I’m telling myself, is not to be caught in the hamster wheel. Not to just keep going to work just to pay bills and coming home to eat and sleep. Try to work your way up so you can have a little bit extra to travel. Take a vacation day here and there. Buy those new shoes you’ve been eyeing. Because when else are you going to be able to do it. Like I said, tricky concept, but if you spend some time thinking about it, it might make a bit more sense. (Ok, here I go being all rambly again, sorry…I mean thank you for your patience 😉 ).
If you made it to the end, thanks for sticking with it. I hope at least some of this may have helped you. Please leave below any other “resolution” type suggests, or even anything you’d like me to post about, or even if you like these long-winded posts. I hope your weekend went well, and the rest of your week goes well 🙂