Friday Five | Ways to Keep Your Resolutions

Hey everyone! How’s those new year’s resolutions coming? I figure about now is when it becomes challenging to keep up with all of these resolutions typically made at the beginning of the year. Have no fear, I’m here to help you continue on with your new found life! So here are some fool-proof ways to keep on with the most usual of resolutions! Enjoy!

1. Working Out

It’s hard to go to the gym. You’ve been so good, keeping it up for almost a month. Go you! But life is starting to catch up to you, you don’t have time, your bed looks more satisfying than an hour of boring gym time. But listen here! You have to continue going! Why you may ask? To lose weight, to keep healthy, to be fit? Nope, you need to keep going because inevitably the zombie apocalypse will be upon us and they will weed out the slow and weak. So every time you look at your bed and want to lay down instead of hitting the gym, just remember; if you keep going to the gym eventually you’ll be able to outrun those who can outrun the zombies. And if boxing is your thing, even better! Because you never know when you’ll need hand-to-hand combat against zombies or people threatening to steal the last supplies.

2. Learn a New Language

Learning a new language can be extremely hard and if you aren’t enrolled in a class and your educational career depends on it, it can be difficult to stick with it. But remember! Once the zombie apocalypse happens, you’ll need to make alliances with other humans. The more languages you know, the more useful you will be and they will have to keep you around when supplies dwindle down!

3. Try to Live a Stress-free Life

You guess it! Once the zombie apocalypse comes around, all of your trivial stresses, like if everyone remembers that one awkward thing you did in 2nd grade, will seem insignificant and silly once your life depends on running away from flesh consuming decomposing humans.

4. Drink Less

Once the zombie apocalypse is upon us the days of drinking are gone. Why you may ask? Because all of that alcohol is now very necessary to your survival! Alcohol is very important in making easy fires to keep zombies away (because nothing beats a barrier like a wall of fire), making bombs (Molotov cocktails work wonders on hoards of zombies), and drinking alcohol will just impair your judgment and make you more susceptible to being eaten by zombies.

5. Snack Less

Ok, so you don’t believe in the zombie apocalypse? Well here’s one for you. Trying to snack less but popcorn, french fries, and chips are calling your name? Adopt a dog! Because who can pass up a cute adorable puppy face and then there goes half the bowl of snacks. Also works if you are trying to be more responsible in life because dogs are basically needier babies of love and adoration.

I hope this helped you in keeping up your resolutions this early in the year! Let me know if you have any other suggestions!

 

Haha okay in all seriousness, this was just plain fuckery. I had a rough few weeks and this concept popped into my head while I was at the gym and I laughed way too hard not to type it up. Hopefully it put a smile on your face as well. I plan on making a better “resolution” type post in the next week or so. Thank you for letting me have a good laugh this week.

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